Part Ten: What Now?

So, after Alex didn't get the job, we kept thinking maybe it wouldn't work for Tony to work 2 full time jobs, and Alex might still get the job. We thought maybe Owens would put their foot down, or maybe Tony would get too tired.

In the time afterwards though, Alex's friend at work who didn't pray, came to turn his life around and seek God through Alex. So, we can't argue with God's timing too much. That was an incredible thing for Alex to be a part of, and given the choice, he would have happily delayed the Owens job just for that.

So, we are still waiting. We are not sure what God is doing, but we believe that he knows better than we do.  And God has certainly been active in our life. Even though our faith took a big hit, we have still been following God.

We have been following God to get the right house for us to live in. A year or so ago, we had felt God telling us it was time to get ready to move, and we did. Then we found our dream house for half its value. The details have come together for that in a miraculous way. That also, though, has been a battle that took way longer than we thought it would. But we finally moved in at the beginning of October.

Then we felt God telling us it was time for another baby. It was something we both had on our hearts, but we were afraid to have another child with Alex working 2 jobs still. We had wanted our kids to be fairly close in age, but I was scared. Having Eden was the hardest time of my life, and I had vowed that Alex would be more available the next time. We started praying about it, and came to the conclusion that we would quit preventing after we moved. I was praying about it a lot, asking God to show me that it was his timing and not mine. Well, in July we were delighted to learn that I was accidentally pregnant.

So, since I got pregnant, Alex got scheduled for mandatory overtime at work for the first time in years (actually, since the last time I was pregnant). We moved on a weekend that was inconvenient for everyone we knew. Alex is now working 70 hours a week. We have 2 broken cars, still no working oven or furnace, and Alex has been threatened with being fired if he takes any time off of work.

I've been reading Isaiah a lot lately, finding comfort in God's words, declaring that he is in control of everything. I have come to the conclusion that God has ordained even the struggles of my life. Things don't always look good to me. But I believe with my whole heart that God is good. And anything he asks of me, I will give, and I will try to give it gladly. Things don't look too good to me at the moment, but whether or not they are good, is for him to judge not me. Like the Israelites, God has asked many things of me that have not made sense and the results were not at all what I expected.

Alex and I still pray together every day that God would miraculously give Alex a full time job at Owens sooner than expected. We are in a standstill, but we still believe.